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2006年5月12日 (金)

3両目で日本社会の今を知る

おととい、”死語”をテーマにブログを書こうと思ってたのに、会社に着いたころには完全に違うトピでひっぱり続けたGOです、皆さんこんにちは。

今まで何度も”余談ですが”に始まって、あさってのベクトルへがんがん進んでましたが、ここまで思いつくまま勢いで書いていると、思い切ってタイトルを

”GOちゃんの今日も行き当たりばったり♪”

とかに変えたほうがいいんじゃないかと思うようにさえなって来ました。(なんでピンクやねん、じぶん)

ただ、このタイトルだと料理番組みたいですし、かといって

”今日の俺のベクトル”

では理屈っぽそうな上に、何故か卑猥な印象さえ与えます。(だからなんでピンクやねん)

まあ、そんなどうでもいい話はこの辺にしておいて、もしも、もしもですよ、2日前ふと思ったようにチラリズムなんて言葉はもはや世の中に存在しない、時代遅れの表現なら、かわいそうなぐらい自分を客観的に見れない江頭2:50のテンションで走っていた可能性があります。(これも古い)

もっと言えば鼻毛どころか、そこにくっついている鼻クソまで気づかずに1週間出勤し続けてるぐらいかわいそうな状況です。(ってか気づくだろ、普通)

これではまずいのでせめてチラリズム教などとフルで書くのをやめて、短縮しといた方が安全です。

チラリズムですから

・・・

・・・

チラリズ・・・

・・・

・・・

チラリ・・・・

・・・

・・・

・・・

ぽちで

ってここに落としたかっただけかいっ!!(ああ再び安田大サーカスのテンションが頭をよぎる。これではいけない、いけないよ俺)

まあ、ぽちネタはほどほどにしといて(ネタなんかいっ)、やはりこの辺はチズム教とかにするとナウいですね・・。

・・・

・・・

・・・

・・・

わざとやんか、今の。マジで。

・・・

でも日本から暫く離れるとホント、流行に遅れるばかりか死語連発ってことは十分ありえます。前回2年前に帰国したときで、すでに時代遅れを感じましたが、今回さらに2年経ってますからめっちゃ不安です。死語連発どころではない可能性だってあります。

2年前の帰国時は、こんなことがありました。普段歩いて5分のコンビニをGOPRAで行ってた俺ですが、もう日本には足がないので、当然電車を使います。関空からバスで茨木まで出て、JRに乗ったとき、ふと車両を見回すと

やっぱ日本の女性はいいなあ・・・

と何気なく思ったりしました。しかも最近みんなきれいやなあ、なんて思っているとどこを見回しても女性しかいません。

大阪の男、全員殺されたんか?

と思うぐらい男がいません。すると車内アナウンスで

”え~、お客様にご連絡いたしま~す。(ここ皆さん、なんとなくそれ風にね♪)”

”え~、前から三両目は女性専用列車となっております・・・。”

・・・

・・・

・・・

これ3両目?(大泣)

しかもドアの上をみると「女性専用」の文字が。

オーマイゴッ・・・なんていうことだ・・・

知っていて乗ったならまだしも、こんな車両があるなんて俺マジ知りませんでしたからね(泣)

スーツケースを持っていたので一生懸命旅行者をアピール

思い切って横の女性に

”はあい、こうのう でんしゃあわあ とぉうきょ、オーノー・・きょうとぉにぃ いきいますくわあ??”

とか聞いてやろうとかも思いましたが、余計自体を悪化する可能性さえあります。

俺がケニア人風ならまだしもどこから見ても日本人顔。

・・・

ああ、そういうの、事前におしえて欲しいよなあ・・・

社会に向けてつぶやいた俺でした。

今回帰国して、町にたまたま女性しか見かけなかったら

女性専用町なんじゃないか、

とスーツケース引きずりながら、今来た町へ急いで戻る自分の姿を早くも夢に見そうです・・・。

ほんと電車んときは次の駅で慌てて隣へ飛び込みましたよ。

生まれて初めて電車の中に男を見つけて笑みがこぼれました♪

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